Yesterday, I was sitting at an outdoor cafe drinking coffee with a few other writers and complaining. This is pretty much what writers do whenever they have a spare moment, and the subject tends to stick to a few perennials: we complain about how hard writing is, how little we’re paid for it compared to our show business colleagues in the acting and directing arenas, and how busy we are.
It’s bad form, as you might imagine, to bring up in conversation that, despite how hard our jobs are, we still manage to wait until 11am to get started, or that our lower-than-movie-star salaries nevertheless place us in the top one-half of one per cent of all Americans, or that, despite our busy lives, we feel the liberty to spend an hour or so lolling in the sunshine, sipping espresso.
That, of course, would be rude. And it would break the unspoken Hollywood social code: I’ll pretend that you have real problems if you pretend that I do.
Yesterday, though, a television director we all knew sauntered by and stopped to chat. We gossiped for a bit until the director looked at his watch and said: “Sorry guys, but I have to go. I can’t hang out doing nothing like you writers.”
The insult stung a bit. But then, directors are always lording it over writers. On a movie set, the director is king. He – and it’s usually a he – sits enthroned like a princeling on a canvas-backed chair, attended by a small army of minions. Often – like a Sultan of the Ottoman Empire on campaign – he’ll be shielded from view by a large tent. They say this is to make it easier to see the array of video screens that a typical shoot requires, but everyone knows this is silly. The tent is part of the mystery of power. It’s designed to spook the underlings.
Servants buzz all around him. There’s a “first assistant director”, a “second assistant director” and even, curiously, a “second second assistant director”. The first assistant director relays the director’s orders to the crew and to the main actors. The second assistant handles the extras, props and wardrobe. The second second doesn’t do much except get yelled at by the others.
Where is the writer in this tableau? Usually, at home.
Directors have total control over who gets on – and who doesn’t get on – their sets. And because directors like to rewrite dialogue on the spot and in general stomp on the writers’ delicate and brilliantly crafted words, they usually bar the original writer from the set. Apparently, there have been too many instances of a writer suddenly snapping and physically attacking the director.
In the television business, writers have the upper hand. Call him the “executive producer” or the “head writer” or the more bluntly descriptive term “show runner”, the guy in charge – and it’s often a guy, but it can be a woman – is usually a writer.
On the whole, writers, unsurprisingly, prefer to work in television.
As soon as our director friend made it out of hearing range, my writer friends instantly turned on him. “Typical director,” they muttered. “He wouldn’t even have anything to direct,” they said, “if we hadn’t written something first.”
All of which is true, but it still made me uncomfortable. I spent the week before last doing something I’ve never done before: directing an episode of a television series I created. I was behind enemy lines – and after a week of being cosseted and catered to and having my every wish carried out by three sets of devoted acolytes, well, I had come to the conclusion that there’s something to this directing thing.
In the first place, it’s not all that easy. You have to know where the actors should stand and when they need to walk. You have to arrange the cameras and figure out when they need to move or refocus. You have to add enough creative touches so that when the writers come to the soundstage to review the rehearsal, it’s clear what parts of the script need to be rewritten. Worse, you have to talk to the actors. A lot.
I tried to explain this to my writer friends, but they just eyed me suspiciously, as if to say: “Whose side are you really on?” And we continued to complain about the special and almost unendurable miseries of a writer’s life in Hollywood until our cappuccinos were cold.
Unfortunately, I’m set to direct a few more episodes of my series. And I’m considering an offer to direct some episodes of another show. In other words, I’m becoming a director. Which means my cappuccino will never get cold, because I now have staff to handle such a crisis.
Rob Long is a writer, producer and director based in Hollywood
On Twitter: @rcbl
THE SPECS
Engine: 3.5-litre V6
Transmission: six-speed manual
Power: 325bhp
Torque: 370Nm
Speed: 0-100km/h 3.9 seconds
Price: Dh230,000
On sale: now
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Our legal consultant
Name: Dr Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Meydan race card
6.30pm: Maiden Dh 165,000 1,600m
7.05pm: Handicap Dh 185,000 2,000m
7.40pm: Maiden Dh 165,000 1,600m
8.15pm: Handicap Dh 190,000 1,400m
8.50pm: Handicap Dh 175,000 1,600m
9.25pm: Handicap Dh 175,000 1,200m
10pm: Handicap Dh 165,000 1,600m
MATCH INFO
What: India v Afghanistan, first Test
When: Starts Thursday
Where: M Chinnaswamy Stadium, Bengalaru
Business Insights
- As per the document, there are six filing options, including choosing to report on a realisation basis and transitional rules for pre-tax period gains or losses.
- SMEs with revenue below Dh3 million per annum can opt for transitional relief until 2026, treating them as having no taxable income.
- Larger entities have specific provisions for asset and liability movements, business restructuring, and handling foreign permanent establishments.
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Dubai works towards better air quality by 2021
Dubai is on a mission to record good air quality for 90 per cent of the year – up from 86 per cent annually today – by 2021.
The municipality plans to have seven mobile air-monitoring stations by 2020 to capture more accurate data in hourly and daily trends of pollution.
These will be on the Palm Jumeirah, Al Qusais, Muhaisnah, Rashidiyah, Al Wasl, Al Quoz and Dubai Investment Park.
“It will allow real-time responding for emergency cases,” said Khaldoon Al Daraji, first environment safety officer at the municipality.
“We’re in a good position except for the cases that are out of our hands, such as sandstorms.
“Sandstorms are our main concern because the UAE is just a receiver.
“The hotspots are Iran, Saudi Arabia and southern Iraq, but we’re working hard with the region to reduce the cycle of sandstorm generation.”
Mr Al Daraji said monitoring as it stood covered 47 per cent of Dubai.
There are 12 fixed stations in the emirate, but Dubai also receives information from monitors belonging to other entities.
“There are 25 stations in total,” Mr Al Daraji said.
“We added new technology and equipment used for the first time for the detection of heavy metals.
“A hundred parameters can be detected but we want to expand it to make sure that the data captured can allow a baseline study in some areas to ensure they are well positioned.”
Most sought after workplace benefits in the UAE
- Flexible work arrangements
- Pension support
- Mental well-being assistance
- Insurance coverage for optical, dental, alternative medicine, cancer screening
- Financial well-being incentives
Biog
Mr Kandhari is legally authorised to conduct marriages in the gurdwara
He has officiated weddings of Sikhs and people of different faiths from Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Russia, the US and Canada
Father of two sons, grandfather of six
Plays golf once a week
Enjoys trying new holiday destinations with his wife and family
Walks for an hour every morning
Completed a Bachelor of Commerce degree in Loyola College, Chennai, India
2019 is a milestone because he completes 50 years in business
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
MATCH INFO
Barcelona 2
Suarez (10'), Messi (52')
Real Madrid 2
Ronaldo (14'), Bale (72')
UK-EU trade at a glance
EU fishing vessels guaranteed access to UK waters for 12 years
Co-operation on security initiatives and procurement of defence products
Youth experience scheme to work, study or volunteer in UK and EU countries
Smoother border management with use of e-gates
Cutting red tape on import and export of food
How to apply for a drone permit
- Individuals must register on UAE Drone app or website using their UAE Pass
- Add all their personal details, including name, nationality, passport number, Emiratis ID, email and phone number
- Upload the training certificate from a centre accredited by the GCAA
- Submit their request
What are the regulations?
- Fly it within visual line of sight
- Never over populated areas
- Ensure maximum flying height of 400 feet (122 metres) above ground level is not crossed
- Users must avoid flying over restricted areas listed on the UAE Drone app
- Only fly the drone during the day, and never at night
- Should have a live feed of the drone flight
- Drones must weigh 5 kg or less
MATCH INFO
England 241-3 (20 ovs)
Malan 130 no, Morgan 91
New Zealand 165 all out (16.5ovs)
Southee 39, Parkinson 4-47
England win by 76 runs
Series level at 2-2
From Zero
Artist: Linkin Park
Label: Warner Records
Number of tracks: 11
Rating: 4/5
RESULT
Arsenal 0 Chelsea 3
Chelsea: Willian (40'), Batshuayi (42', 49')
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
Company%20Profile
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The Birkin bag is made by Hermès.
It is named after actress and singer Jane Birkin
Noone from Hermès will go on record to say how much a new Birkin costs, how long one would have to wait to get one, and how many bags are actually made each year.
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SCHEDULE
December 8: UAE v USA (Sharjah Cricket Stadium)
December 9: USA v Scotland (Sharjah Cricket Stadium)
December 11: UAE v Scotland (Sharjah Cricket Stadium)
December 12: UAE v USA (ICC Academy Oval 1)
December 14: USA v Scotland (ICC Academy Oval 1)
December 15: UAE v Scotland (ICC Academy Oval 1)
All matches start at 10am
How to watch Ireland v Pakistan in UAE
When: The one-off Test starts on Friday, May 11
What time: Each day’s play is scheduled to start at 2pm UAE time.
TV: The match will be broadcast on OSN Sports Cricket HD. Subscribers to the channel can also stream the action live on OSN Play.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Jetour T1 specs
Engine: 2-litre turbocharged
Power: 254hp
Torque: 390Nm
Price: From Dh126,000
Available: Now
Coal Black Mornings
Brett Anderson
Little Brown Book Group
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%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EName%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Haltia.ai%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202023%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECo-founders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Arto%20Bendiken%20and%20Talal%20Thabet%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dubai%2C%20UAE%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EIndustry%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20AI%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20employees%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2041%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunding%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20About%20%241.7%20million%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Self%2C%20family%20and%20friends%26nbsp%3B%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
FIXTURES
All kick-off times 10.45pm UAE ( 4 GMT)
Tuesday
Mairobr v Liverpool
Spartak Moscow v Sevilla
Feyenoord v Shakhtar Donetsk
Manchester City v Napoli
Monaco v Besiktas
RB Leipzig v Porto
Apoel Nicosia v Borussia Dortmund
Real Madrid v Tottenham Hotspur
Wednesday
Benfica v Manchester United
CSKA Moscow v Basel
Bayern Munich v Celtic
Anderlecht v Paris Saint-Germain
Qarabag v Atletico Madrid
Chelsea v Roma
Barcelona v Olympiakos
Juventus v Sporting Lisbon
Warlight,
Michael Ondaatje, Knopf
The specs
Engine: Two permanent-magnet synchronous AC motors
Transmission: two-speed
Power: 671hp
Torque: 849Nm
Range: 456km
Price: from Dh437,900
On sale: now
Volvo ES90 Specs
Engine: Electric single motor (96kW), twin motor (106kW) and twin motor performance (106kW)
Power: 333hp, 449hp, 680hp
Torque: 480Nm, 670Nm, 870Nm
On sale: Later in 2025 or early 2026, depending on region
Price: Exact regional pricing TBA
Sholto Byrnes on Myanmar politics
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Dubai Bling season three
Cast: Loujain Adada, Zeina Khoury, Farhana Bodi, Ebraheem Al Samadi, Mona Kattan, and couples Safa & Fahad Siddiqui and DJ Bliss & Danya Mohammed
Rating: 1/5
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The biog
Marital status: Separated with two young daughters
Education: Master's degree from American Univeristy of Cairo
Favourite book: That Is How They Defeat Despair by Salwa Aladian
Favourite Motto: Their happiness is your happiness
Goal: For Nefsy to become his legacy long after he is gon
The Outsider
Stephen King, Penguin
Learn more about Qasr Al Hosn
In 2013, The National's History Project went beyond the walls to see what life was like living in Abu Dhabi's fabled fort:
