How did we ever live without smartphones? I know it’s a well-trodden subject for B-list comedians around the world, but it’s a really good question.
I’m writing this at the Cannes Film Festival, where I am finding it hard to maintain a Wi-Fi connection for more than 30 seconds a day – which is a problem if you are working. Even in my hotel room, I have discovered I have to leave, walk down the corridor, and hang around somewhere near the lifts if I want any form of reliable internet connection. This is a situation that has led to myself and the night porter becoming exceptionally well acquainted, though not necessarily in a good way.
I have the luxury of being able to speak French and explain that my job requires me to maybe send a story to Abu Dhabi quite late at night after a hard day tracking down said story and writing it up. Complaining about the internet connection results in a traditional French raised eyebrow, and a sense of general disdain.
The irony is that I was a late adopter of mobile technology, and in a sense I’m still proud of that. In 1999 I was adamant that it was a fad. Who on Earth would want to be contactable by all their friends (lovely though they may be), their work (lovely though they may also be), and worst of all, their mother (lovely though she may be) 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. “Not I,” thought I.
And then I bought one. It was OK at first. I’d just use it for the odd call if I was out and about and needed to meet someone. It was also useful to know I had it in case I found myself in a difficult situation and needed to call a friend, or the police, or even the aforementioned mother.
And then they began to evolve. Suddenly my Nokia had a game called Snake on it. That was an hour of my day gone. Then they could take photos. Then they became sort of internet connectible, and you could do new things – like download a new version of Snake or send a photo of your dinner to your mum to let her know you were looking after yourself.
It’s amazing, really, and everything about it is positive and life-enhancing. Except that I can’t get a signal to save my life in Cannes. I’m not going to blame the doubtless excellent French telecoms industry, I’m sure it is simply the sheer overload of the mass of people who have descended on the festival, all trying to grab a share of the bandwidth. The problem seems worse as I have just moved house, and still have no Wi-Fi in the UAE either. I feel a little bit like Feral Kid from Mad Max 2, skulking in tunnels and grunting aggressively at newcomers. At least Feral Kid can throw a boomerang with deadly accuracy. I can’t even do that.
Luckily, the Dubai government recently announced ambitious plans to become the world’s first “Smart City”, with internet connections on the metro, in the streets, the desert and, hopefully, underwater, too. So at least next time I have to move house I’ll be able to find out what all my friends had for dinner on Facebook.
That still won’t help me in France, though.
cnewbould@thenational.ae
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The Gandhi Murder
- 71 - Years since the death of MK Gandhi, also christened India's Father of the Nation
- 34 - Nationalities featured in the film The Gandhi Murder
- 7 - million dollars, the film's budget
WOMAN AND CHILD
Director: Saeed Roustaee
Starring: Parinaz Izadyar, Payman Maadi
Rating: 4/5
MOUNTAINHEAD REVIEW
Starring: Ramy Youssef, Steve Carell, Jason Schwartzman
Director: Jesse Armstrong
Rating: 3.5/5
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
Zakat definitions
Zakat: an Arabic word meaning ‘to cleanse’ or ‘purification’.
Nisab: the minimum amount that a Muslim must have before being obliged to pay zakat. Traditionally, the nisab threshold was 87.48 grams of gold, or 612.36 grams of silver. The monetary value of the nisab therefore varies by current prices and currencies.
Zakat Al Mal: the ‘cleansing’ of wealth, as one of the five pillars of Islam; a spiritual duty for all Muslims meeting the ‘nisab’ wealth criteria in a lunar year, to pay 2.5 per cent of their wealth in alms to the deserving and needy.
Zakat Al Fitr: a donation to charity given during Ramadan, before Eid Al Fitr, in the form of food. Every adult Muslim who possesses food in excess of the needs of themselves and their family must pay two qadahs (an old measure just over 2 kilograms) of flour, wheat, barley or rice from each person in a household, as a minimum.
Blackpink World Tour [Born Pink] In Cinemas
Starring: Rose, Jisoo, Jennie, Lisa
Directors: Min Geun, Oh Yoon-Dong
Rating: 3/5
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Defence review at a glance
• Increase defence spending to 2.5% of GDP by 2027 but given “turbulent times it may be necessary to go faster”
• Prioritise a shift towards working with AI and autonomous systems
• Invest in the resilience of military space systems.
• Number of active reserves should be increased by 20%
• More F-35 fighter jets required in the next decade
• New “hybrid Navy” with AUKUS submarines and autonomous vessels
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Scoreline:
Barcelona 2
Suarez 85', Messi 86'
Atletico Madrid 0
Red card: Diego Costa 28' (Atletico)
UAE v Gibraltar
What: International friendly
When: 7pm kick off
Where: Rugby Park, Dubai Sports City
Admission: Free
Online: The match will be broadcast live on Dubai Exiles’ Facebook page
UAE squad: Lucas Waddington (Dubai Exiles), Gio Fourie (Exiles), Craig Nutt (Abu Dhabi Harlequins), Phil Brady (Harlequins), Daniel Perry (Dubai Hurricanes), Esekaia Dranibota (Harlequins), Matt Mills (Exiles), Jaen Botes (Exiles), Kristian Stinson (Exiles), Murray Reason (Abu Dhabi Saracens), Dave Knight (Hurricanes), Ross Samson (Jebel Ali Dragons), DuRandt Gerber (Exiles), Saki Naisau (Dragons), Andrew Powell (Hurricanes), Emosi Vacanau (Harlequins), Niko Volavola (Dragons), Matt Richards (Dragons), Luke Stevenson (Harlequins), Josh Ives (Dubai Sports City Eagles), Sean Stevens (Saracens), Thinus Steyn (Exiles)
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
THE BIO
Favourite place to go to in the UAE: The desert sand dunes, just after some rain
Who inspires you: Anybody with new and smart ideas, challenging questions, an open mind and a positive attitude
Where would you like to retire: Most probably in my home country, Hungary, but with frequent returns to the UAE
Favorite book: A book by Transilvanian author, Albert Wass, entitled ‘Sword and Reap’ (Kard es Kasza) - not really known internationally
Favourite subjects in school: Mathematics and science
Lexus LX700h specs
Engine: 3.4-litre twin-turbo V6 plus supplementary electric motor
Power: 464hp at 5,200rpm
Torque: 790Nm from 2,000-3,600rpm
Transmission: 10-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 11.7L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh590,000
if you go
The flights
Etihad, Emirates and Singapore Airlines fly direct from the UAE to Singapore from Dh2,265 return including taxes. The flight takes about 7 hours.
The hotel
Rooms at the M Social Singapore cost from SG $179 (Dh488) per night including taxes.
The tour
Makan Makan Walking group tours costs from SG $90 (Dh245) per person for about three hours. Tailor-made tours can be arranged. For details go to www.woknstroll.com.sg
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The specs
Engine: Direct injection 4-cylinder 1.4-litre
Power: 150hp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: From Dh139,000
On sale: Now
More coverage from the Future Forum
If you go
The flights
Etihad and Emirates fly direct from the UAE to Chicago from Dh5,215 return including taxes.
The hotels
Recommended hotels include the Intercontinental Chicago Magnificent Mile, located in an iconic skyscraper complete with a 1929 Olympic-size swimming pool from US$299 (Dh1,100) per night including taxes, and the Omni Chicago Hotel, an excellent value downtown address with elegant art deco furnishings and an excellent in-house restaurant. Rooms from US$239 (Dh877) per night including taxes.
The specs: 2017 Dodge Ram 1500 Laramie Longhorn
Price, base / as tested: Dhxxx
Engine: 5.7L V8
Transmission: Eight-speed automatic
Power: 395hp @ 5,600rpm
Torque: 556Nm @ 3,950rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 12.7L / 100km
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ICC Women's T20 World Cup Asia Qualifier 2025, Thailand
UAE fixtures
May 9, v Malaysia
May 10, v Qatar
May 13, v Malaysia
May 15, v Qatar
May 18 and 19, semi-finals
May 20, final
House-hunting
Top 10 locations for inquiries from US house hunters, according to Rightmove
- Edinburgh, Scotland
- Westminster, London
- Camden, London
- Glasgow, Scotland
- Islington, London
- Kensington and Chelsea, London
- Highlands, Scotland
- Argyll and Bute, Scotland
- Fife, Scotland
- Tower Hamlets, London
Profile Idealz
Company: Idealz
Founded: January 2018
Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Size: (employees): 22
Investors: Co-founders and Venture Partners (9 per cent)
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Six large-scale objects on show
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- A full-scale Frankfurt Kitchen designed by Margarete Schütte-Lihotzky, which transformed kitchen design in the 20th century
- Torrijos Palace dome
What is dialysis?
Dialysis is a way of cleaning your blood when your kidneys fail and can no longer do the job.
It gets rid of your body's wastes, extra salt and water, and helps to control your blood pressure. The main cause of kidney failure is diabetes and hypertension.
There are two kinds of dialysis — haemodialysis and peritoneal.
In haemodialysis, blood is pumped out of your body to an artificial kidney machine that filter your blood and returns it to your body by tubes.
In peritoneal dialysis, the inside lining of your own belly acts as a natural filter. Wastes are taken out by means of a cleansing fluid which is washed in and out of your belly in cycles.
It isn’t an option for everyone but if eligible, can be done at home by the patient or caregiver. This, as opposed to home haemodialysis, is covered by insurance in the UAE.
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